I recently ran into the following rules to live by. Enjoy.

Tomorrow has a 92.6% chance of turning into Never. Do it today.
Living well is not the best revenge. It’s a choice.
Sometimes the answer is just “Cheese Fries.” Simplify your life.
When choosing between two evils, pick the one you haven’t done before. Experiment
Good Judgement comes from experience. A lot of experience comes from Bad Judgement. Engage
What you did in the past was caused by past beliefs. What you do now is caused by present beliefs. Don’t mix up either. Evolve.
A confused mind says “no.” How much are you trying to get done today? Focus.
It doesn’t matter what “they” think. That’s THEIR business, not yours. Besides most people don’t think very often, so move along. Composure.
You are being judged by 12 people that couldn’t figure out how to get out of jury duty. Negotiate.
You need exactly one person’s permission to be happy. Visit nearest mirror and ask for it. Own it.
Michelangelo’s greatest work started as a mistake. Tell me again what you are waiting for. Onward.
If I’m like everyone else, who will be like me? Unafraid.
The passage of time can level mountains, change governments and wipe out dinosaurs. It can certainly heal what hurts in your heart.
Don’t suffer fools – at all. Steady.
If you lend someone money and never see them again – totally WORTH IT.
The moment you think you are a big deal, try telling a cat what to do. Graceful.
The greatest danger of communication is the illusion that it has occurred. Clarity.
Gentlemen, if she wants to dance with you, you’re winning. Receive.
A “fine” is a tax for doing wrong. A “tax” is a fine for doing well. Duty.
For fear of taking risks in life I missed a lot of fun. Now the only things that I regret are things I have not done. Courage.

• Special thanks to Andy Jenkin’s Scorched Earth for this.